similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
