When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
