so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My feet surprised me
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