cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
