we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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