We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
