You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
