Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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