i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
