new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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