Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize