so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm getting married
To pizza
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
