Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
