Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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