...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
