hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
