it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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