hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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