I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You can't just leave with hair like that
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
