By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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