And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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