Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
