no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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