Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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