Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
