dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
