There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize