You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
