Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
