I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Damn victory sex feels great
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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