Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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