I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
