there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
