He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
