Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
