Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
