so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize