He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
