McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
