We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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