I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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