i barfeds in our rink
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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