Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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