you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
