So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
