first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
