He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
