yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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