I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
