They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
