Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
