we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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