I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
