Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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