The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
...so i touched it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
