u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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