She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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