i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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