i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
