I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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